You assholes. I bet you and your art department think this shit is hilarious. “Let’s put our customers tormentors on the box. Ha!”
I, however, don’t appreciate your passive-aggressive mocking. (Or is it aggressive-aggressive? Whatever. Shut up.) I currently wish all the plants were dead. Yep, all of ‘em. Even the pretty ones. Because they’re making my nose run constantly and me feel like a piece of wadded up trash that has had a forever-soggy curse placed on it by one of the scarier demons from Buffy.
Pretty much, you are insensitive douches. What’s next? Probably a pack of fluffy cats rolling in pollen and grass and whatever goddamn in-bloom thing is making me die right now all over a box of tissues. You are the worst.
It’s that thing where we are really, really bummed about Bill Hader leaving Saturday Night Live.